Today I touch upon the emotion of fear. I went and got my blood pressure checked the other day and the nurse really put the fear of God in me. About a year ago I went to the doctor and got my first physical at the age of 31, and yes it was my first. The doctor told me that I was border line hypertension. I didn't worry too much about it, I thought cut out the salt and I'll be okay. Well I was wrong, the nurse told me I had a BP of 175/95. Not good at all. She informed me that I am five times more likely to have a heart attack than someone of normal BP. With the state of the economy and being out of work for the time being I can't afford to take the easy way out and get on medication. So here is what I decided to do. I am going to keep an online journal, using this blog, to keep up with progress. Being a former work-out fanatic it is hard for me to say I am now in the worse shape I have ever been in. So God speed to me and I will keep all who want to know informed of progress.
Step 1 Lose weight.
I have been out of work for almost seven months now, less active than I have ever been. So the first thing I did was started walking at a nearby park. But with the extreme cold we have here more often than not right now it gets pretty discouraging. So I went out and bought a copy of Tae-Bo. I am vowing to do this workout everyday.
Step 2 Cut out the salt.
Because I do most of the cooking at home this won't be to difficult. And I have already done it for the most part.
Step 3 NO alcohol
Again an easy one because I don' t drink much anymore anyway so now I just have to say no when it comes up.
Step 4 Exercise
With the Tae-Bo regimen daily this should go pretty smooth. Billy Blanks is very motivational on the one I got. I have had the DVD for two days now and have done one hour each, so i am off to a good start.
Lastly is fruit and vegetables, again shouldn't be to difficult because my wife eats more fruits and veggies than anyone I know. So they are readily available I just have to get into the habit of eating them.
So I start today with the posting of progress so that I will stay motivated. To see the results in writing, were others can see them too, will be quite embarrassing if I can't reach my goal. so as of today my stats are as follows......
Height 6ft
Weight 259lbs
BP 175/95
I will be working on photos for before, during and after.
My goal weight is 215lbs with as low of BP as I can get. As an extra push I also am shooting for a half marathon by next year.
Remember keep those comments coming, I need all the motivation I can get, and if you have an inspirational story about a life change drop me a line. Or if you are getting in on a health kick any advice would be appreciated.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Never realized what a relief it is to express feelings.
Today I am sitting here reminiscing on the loved ones whom I have lost. Some due to death others that we just drifted apart.
I will start off with the worst year of my life. It started on April 28, 2003. The day started with the utmost excitement because it was the annual Felkins family reunion. Every year the reunion takes place at Wooly Hollow State Park. My Grandmother, Grandfather, and I had gone down early to start setting tables getting the barbecue pits ready and setting up chairs. At the park there is usually no cell phone reception, but on this occasion a few got through. My grandmother received a call from my cousin saying his mother had passed out and they could not wake her up. Not knowing how serious the situation was she told him to put a damp cloth on her forehead and wait for her to come to. The phone was cutting in and out making the conversation difficult so my cousin came to the park, only a few miles from the house, to fill us in on what was going on. My aunt was in the front yard loading her grand kids into her van when she passed out. He could tell it was not a normal fainting spell. My grandmother and grandfather left to go check on her and see what was happening, leaving me at the park to let people know as they showed up what was going on. When some of the relatives from out of town got there I got the call that they were rushing my aunt to the hospital, something was seriously wrong. I rushed to the hospital were I was told she had a brain aneurysm and was dead before they had left our house. I was a pallbearer at the funeral, we laid her to rest at the age of 48.
I don't recall the exact date but shortly after my aunt passed away we found out my Grandfather had lung cancer. He underwent months of chemo and radiation treatments to no avail. After being in pain and sick from the disease and the treatment with no improvement he and the doctors decided to stop the treatments. I lived with my grandparents at the time and witnessed his struggle. Me and my grandfather became closer than we had ever been. After several stays in the hospital the family and doctors decide to bring in hospice so we could have Papa at home because that is what he would have wanted. One of my uncles and I were at home meeting with hospice setting up beds and all the necessary machines to make him comfortable when we got the call. The last thing my grandfather said was that he wanted to go home, Granny assured him we were taking him home and that was all he needed to hear. We laid him to rest on November, 4 2003 at the age of 69. My grandfather was a coin collector for as long as I can remember. The Christmas before he passed away I bought him a 1934 silver dollar, the year he was born, to replace the one he carried in his pocket every day until it had rubbed completely smooth. He was buried with the coin I gave him in his pocket and that still means a lot to me.
Sunday December 14, 2003 started off an exciting day. My girlfriend at the time, who later became my wife, was moving in with me because her parents were moving out of state. She was working and still in college so she decided to stay with me. We were at her parents house packing her things getting ready for the move. It was mid evening, I don't remember the exact time, I got a phone call from my uncle that I needed to come home as soon as I could. He said it was not an emergency but I needed to get there soon. The first thought that crossed my mind is that my dog must have been hit by a car or shot by the neighbor again. So I went home thinking I had lost my dog. When I got to the house there were to many cars there to justify losing a dog so I got really worried. All the things going through my head did not come close to the horror I was about to walk in on. As soon as I opened the door I knew something serious had happened, everyone was in tears with grief like I had never seen. Before I got the door closed I was knocked off my feet literally, someone said Sonny is dead he committed suicide. I could not believe what I had just heard, Sonny was my little brother. Most of the next few weeks are still a blur, I guess I was in shock and still am. My little brother was a troubled teen he had been kicked out of several schools, in trouble with the law and ultimately had been placed in a boys home rather than jail. I had gone up to see him and spent a whole day just hanging out just a couple of months before. I am so glad I got that time with him. We went to an arcade and spent like a hundred bucks on video games, we went to the Mystic Caverns, and just drove around talking. He seemed to be happy up there like he finally fit in. It was a huge surprise to all of us. We laid my brother to rest on December 20 2003 at the age of 17.
These are thoughts I can never bring myself to talk about. They have been building for a while now, and now that i have expressed them I do feel some relief. I guess like people say you really should talk these things out. Now that I have started a lot of other great memories come to mind that I will keep private for now. Just know, to all of those that have touched me, you will forever be near and dear to my heart.
I will start off with the worst year of my life. It started on April 28, 2003. The day started with the utmost excitement because it was the annual Felkins family reunion. Every year the reunion takes place at Wooly Hollow State Park. My Grandmother, Grandfather, and I had gone down early to start setting tables getting the barbecue pits ready and setting up chairs. At the park there is usually no cell phone reception, but on this occasion a few got through. My grandmother received a call from my cousin saying his mother had passed out and they could not wake her up. Not knowing how serious the situation was she told him to put a damp cloth on her forehead and wait for her to come to. The phone was cutting in and out making the conversation difficult so my cousin came to the park, only a few miles from the house, to fill us in on what was going on. My aunt was in the front yard loading her grand kids into her van when she passed out. He could tell it was not a normal fainting spell. My grandmother and grandfather left to go check on her and see what was happening, leaving me at the park to let people know as they showed up what was going on. When some of the relatives from out of town got there I got the call that they were rushing my aunt to the hospital, something was seriously wrong. I rushed to the hospital were I was told she had a brain aneurysm and was dead before they had left our house. I was a pallbearer at the funeral, we laid her to rest at the age of 48.
I don't recall the exact date but shortly after my aunt passed away we found out my Grandfather had lung cancer. He underwent months of chemo and radiation treatments to no avail. After being in pain and sick from the disease and the treatment with no improvement he and the doctors decided to stop the treatments. I lived with my grandparents at the time and witnessed his struggle. Me and my grandfather became closer than we had ever been. After several stays in the hospital the family and doctors decide to bring in hospice so we could have Papa at home because that is what he would have wanted. One of my uncles and I were at home meeting with hospice setting up beds and all the necessary machines to make him comfortable when we got the call. The last thing my grandfather said was that he wanted to go home, Granny assured him we were taking him home and that was all he needed to hear. We laid him to rest on November, 4 2003 at the age of 69. My grandfather was a coin collector for as long as I can remember. The Christmas before he passed away I bought him a 1934 silver dollar, the year he was born, to replace the one he carried in his pocket every day until it had rubbed completely smooth. He was buried with the coin I gave him in his pocket and that still means a lot to me.
Sunday December 14, 2003 started off an exciting day. My girlfriend at the time, who later became my wife, was moving in with me because her parents were moving out of state. She was working and still in college so she decided to stay with me. We were at her parents house packing her things getting ready for the move. It was mid evening, I don't remember the exact time, I got a phone call from my uncle that I needed to come home as soon as I could. He said it was not an emergency but I needed to get there soon. The first thought that crossed my mind is that my dog must have been hit by a car or shot by the neighbor again. So I went home thinking I had lost my dog. When I got to the house there were to many cars there to justify losing a dog so I got really worried. All the things going through my head did not come close to the horror I was about to walk in on. As soon as I opened the door I knew something serious had happened, everyone was in tears with grief like I had never seen. Before I got the door closed I was knocked off my feet literally, someone said Sonny is dead he committed suicide. I could not believe what I had just heard, Sonny was my little brother. Most of the next few weeks are still a blur, I guess I was in shock and still am. My little brother was a troubled teen he had been kicked out of several schools, in trouble with the law and ultimately had been placed in a boys home rather than jail. I had gone up to see him and spent a whole day just hanging out just a couple of months before. I am so glad I got that time with him. We went to an arcade and spent like a hundred bucks on video games, we went to the Mystic Caverns, and just drove around talking. He seemed to be happy up there like he finally fit in. It was a huge surprise to all of us. We laid my brother to rest on December 20 2003 at the age of 17.
These are thoughts I can never bring myself to talk about. They have been building for a while now, and now that i have expressed them I do feel some relief. I guess like people say you really should talk these things out. Now that I have started a lot of other great memories come to mind that I will keep private for now. Just know, to all of those that have touched me, you will forever be near and dear to my heart.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Mud is just wet dirt.
I have always heard that the first year of marriage is the hardest. If this is true than my wife and I have got it made in the shade. We are by no means perfect yet a couple of months to go and our first year will have passed with no real fights. Now don't get me wrong we have had some stressful times with her starting Dental Hygiene School and me being unemployed. We had to move closer to her school into our first apartment. With the stress of a lot of unknowns and yet no fights.
I have always preferred to keep open communication so it doesn't build into a fight. It took us both some time to be comfortable enough to really expose our deepest feelings regardless of the situation. I have learned over the years that talking is the answer to most all problems. People who don't talk to each other when something is bothering them tend to let it build until it reaches the boiling point. If you were to just sit down and say hey this bothers me and we need to discuss it, while you still have the mind frame to logically talk things through, would solve the waiting until you are screaming and everyone goes on the defense.
As everyone knows men and women are different. To let you in on a little secret, women are very emotional at times and men usually are not. There are some exceptions to the rule but for the most part that fact stands true. Now I am not saying you can do anything about certain times when hormones are raging for what ever reasons but there are times it just comes natural. I am also not saying that it is the woman's fault things build to explosion. As the logical thinkers it is our duty as men to help our women get through these times.
Here is an example of a situation that has happened to everyone that has been in a serious relationship, in some form or fashion. I will use Jack and Jill as names.
Jack goes out to the sports bar with some buddies after work to watch the game. They are drinking, having snacks, and just hanging out having a great time. The game should be over around 8:00, after triple over time and watching the post game discussing what they had just witnessed Jack comes rolling in around 11:30. Understandably Jill is upset by this time, Jack is three and a half hours later than she expected and has not answered her calls throughout the evening. Which he didn't hear over the noise in the bar. As an emotional creature her thoughts first go to an accident, she is picturing Jack in a horrible car crash or maybe a shooting at the bar, then turns to maybe he is out with another women. When in all actuality he is safe and not thinking about women at all. Jack as a logical creature knows now he should have called but was caught up in the moment and is sorry but there is nothing he can do now. She is crying and irrational, he automatically throws a wall up and goes defense. After going to bed angry, she is mad because he worried her and he is mad because she is mad that he was having a good time, the next few days turn into a constant Jack asking what is wrong Jill repeatedly saying nothing I am fine. It doesn't take long to get the explosion stage.
Its not her fault or his. If either of them had said lets calm down and talk about this we will see there is no reason for us to fight about this. We are both in the wrong for the way we acted and learning from the mistake it will not happen again. As I stated before it takes time for both people to let their guard down and be comfortable laying it all on the line.
The number one make or break deal in any relationship is communication.
I have always preferred to keep open communication so it doesn't build into a fight. It took us both some time to be comfortable enough to really expose our deepest feelings regardless of the situation. I have learned over the years that talking is the answer to most all problems. People who don't talk to each other when something is bothering them tend to let it build until it reaches the boiling point. If you were to just sit down and say hey this bothers me and we need to discuss it, while you still have the mind frame to logically talk things through, would solve the waiting until you are screaming and everyone goes on the defense.
As everyone knows men and women are different. To let you in on a little secret, women are very emotional at times and men usually are not. There are some exceptions to the rule but for the most part that fact stands true. Now I am not saying you can do anything about certain times when hormones are raging for what ever reasons but there are times it just comes natural. I am also not saying that it is the woman's fault things build to explosion. As the logical thinkers it is our duty as men to help our women get through these times.
Here is an example of a situation that has happened to everyone that has been in a serious relationship, in some form or fashion. I will use Jack and Jill as names.
Jack goes out to the sports bar with some buddies after work to watch the game. They are drinking, having snacks, and just hanging out having a great time. The game should be over around 8:00, after triple over time and watching the post game discussing what they had just witnessed Jack comes rolling in around 11:30. Understandably Jill is upset by this time, Jack is three and a half hours later than she expected and has not answered her calls throughout the evening. Which he didn't hear over the noise in the bar. As an emotional creature her thoughts first go to an accident, she is picturing Jack in a horrible car crash or maybe a shooting at the bar, then turns to maybe he is out with another women. When in all actuality he is safe and not thinking about women at all. Jack as a logical creature knows now he should have called but was caught up in the moment and is sorry but there is nothing he can do now. She is crying and irrational, he automatically throws a wall up and goes defense. After going to bed angry, she is mad because he worried her and he is mad because she is mad that he was having a good time, the next few days turn into a constant Jack asking what is wrong Jill repeatedly saying nothing I am fine. It doesn't take long to get the explosion stage.
Its not her fault or his. If either of them had said lets calm down and talk about this we will see there is no reason for us to fight about this. We are both in the wrong for the way we acted and learning from the mistake it will not happen again. As I stated before it takes time for both people to let their guard down and be comfortable laying it all on the line.
The number one make or break deal in any relationship is communication.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
O.K. This is my first attempt at a blog.
Are there any true gentlemen out there anymore?
Let me start off by saying I sometimes truly feel like one of a kind. Not to pat myself on the back or toot my own horn or anything of that sort. I have never met my real father so I have always really watched the men in my life, looking for a father figure I guess. I feel like the way I am comes from not being like most of the men in my life. Not that I don't respect or even look up to them, I just disagree with some of the things they do or have done.
I was raised until the age of five with a single mother, she then married my first step-father. I do truly love him as he was my only father figure growing up. I just don't think he treated my mother like she deserved. I am not putting all the blame on him, they weren't meant to be together so they did not always get along. At the age of 12 or 13 I moved in with my grandparents who raised me to be a fine adult if I do say so myself. My grandfather was a private man who did not always like us grand kids being around so most of the up-bringing was done by my grandmother. So I had a lot of old fashioned ideas instilled on me, but on the other hand I also was taught to cook, clean, sew, and all kinds of things that a lot of men would look upon as girly. Therefore always being around in the kitchen or helping out on whatever projects were going on at the time, I also was around to listen to all the women complain about their significant others. So there were many of times I vowed not to be like them.
As i got into my twenties I found my true love. Even though she wasn't as sure as I was until much later. Even in our early relationship there were things that I could have done a little different, but it has all worked out so far. I remember my now mother-in-law saying once that on Valentine's Day you could line up all the men in a row and each one of them would have a box of chocolates or flowers and standing right in the middle with his purple dinosaur would be me.
I have always prided myself with being a little different, above par if you would. I like to bring the unexpected that way it is more of a surprise because I truly believe it is the little things that count.
I was flipping through the channels the other day and on Oprah or Dr. Phil or one of those shows there was a couple having issues in the bedroom. What got my attention was she wanted him to want to help around the house, all she asked was he take out the garbage. I couldn't believe when he said something along the lines of, why would I want to help, that stuff is not fun at all. That's what got my mind going on this whole issue. I could see almost every man I have ever known saying the same thing. And it is true, carrying out the garbage, doing dishes, vacuuming the floor, or doing the dishes is not really all that enjoyable at all. What is enjoyable is the reaction you get when you do those things. There are some who once in a blue moon will load the dish washer and expect praise. It doesn't work like that. The women may not say a word, if it continues though that is when things get really nice. She does appreciate the help. You know it's not fun, now imagine being the woman who does this day after day, she knows it's not fun either.
So to sum it up i guess what I am saying is why would any self-respecting man not treasure his wife, girlfriend, mother, grandmother, or significant other? Treat the women in your life like queens and therefore they will treat you like a king.
Please leave comments to let me know if I am right or wrong. Are there others like me out there somewhere?
Let me start off by saying I sometimes truly feel like one of a kind. Not to pat myself on the back or toot my own horn or anything of that sort. I have never met my real father so I have always really watched the men in my life, looking for a father figure I guess. I feel like the way I am comes from not being like most of the men in my life. Not that I don't respect or even look up to them, I just disagree with some of the things they do or have done.
I was raised until the age of five with a single mother, she then married my first step-father. I do truly love him as he was my only father figure growing up. I just don't think he treated my mother like she deserved. I am not putting all the blame on him, they weren't meant to be together so they did not always get along. At the age of 12 or 13 I moved in with my grandparents who raised me to be a fine adult if I do say so myself. My grandfather was a private man who did not always like us grand kids being around so most of the up-bringing was done by my grandmother. So I had a lot of old fashioned ideas instilled on me, but on the other hand I also was taught to cook, clean, sew, and all kinds of things that a lot of men would look upon as girly. Therefore always being around in the kitchen or helping out on whatever projects were going on at the time, I also was around to listen to all the women complain about their significant others. So there were many of times I vowed not to be like them.
As i got into my twenties I found my true love. Even though she wasn't as sure as I was until much later. Even in our early relationship there were things that I could have done a little different, but it has all worked out so far. I remember my now mother-in-law saying once that on Valentine's Day you could line up all the men in a row and each one of them would have a box of chocolates or flowers and standing right in the middle with his purple dinosaur would be me.
I have always prided myself with being a little different, above par if you would. I like to bring the unexpected that way it is more of a surprise because I truly believe it is the little things that count.
I was flipping through the channels the other day and on Oprah or Dr. Phil or one of those shows there was a couple having issues in the bedroom. What got my attention was she wanted him to want to help around the house, all she asked was he take out the garbage. I couldn't believe when he said something along the lines of, why would I want to help, that stuff is not fun at all. That's what got my mind going on this whole issue. I could see almost every man I have ever known saying the same thing. And it is true, carrying out the garbage, doing dishes, vacuuming the floor, or doing the dishes is not really all that enjoyable at all. What is enjoyable is the reaction you get when you do those things. There are some who once in a blue moon will load the dish washer and expect praise. It doesn't work like that. The women may not say a word, if it continues though that is when things get really nice. She does appreciate the help. You know it's not fun, now imagine being the woman who does this day after day, she knows it's not fun either.
So to sum it up i guess what I am saying is why would any self-respecting man not treasure his wife, girlfriend, mother, grandmother, or significant other? Treat the women in your life like queens and therefore they will treat you like a king.
Please leave comments to let me know if I am right or wrong. Are there others like me out there somewhere?
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